Posted on 2024-07-09

Being a parent is a tough job
By Vivian Heyl

For over 40 years I have raised children, some were mine and some were the children of other people. Parenting is a tough job. Those who think it isn't aren't doing it right.

Recently I told a young mother who is a first-time parent that babies are like sponges, they absorb everything, even those things they are too young to understand.  

She talks to her baby in a way that many parents have never tried. She has conversations with him. She explains what things are and what she is going to do with those things. Though her son doesn't comprehend all that she says, he knows she is talking to him and showing or giving him things to examine as she talks.  

Recently she was shopping in a grocery store with her baby and as she shopped she told him about the objects she was adding to the shopping cart. She picked up an onion and allowed him to hold it. She told him it was called an onion, she talked about the onion's color and what the onion would be used for.  

She suddenly realized that people were giving her strange looks. She has talked to him and explained things since he was born. At first she just shrugged it off but said she is beginning to feel intimidated by the stares when she talks to her child in public.  

When I told her that it was perfectly fine and even good to talk to her child in this way, she asked how she should react to the strange looks she gets when she is out in the public.  

I am a person who takes parenting very seriously. I believe it is the most important job anyone could ever have. I have been known to go on a rant when the subject comes up. In fact some might even say I get on a soapbox about it now and then.  

The following was my response to her. 
 
Maybe it was the first time they had ever seen a parent who actually parents. Parenting is not easy. It's the most important job in your life. There are no job descriptions, no paid vacations, the hours are long, and there is no retirement. The pay, however, is outstanding and it has job benefits beyond your wildest dreams. There are smiles, hugs, sticky kisses, endless questions, hastily plucked bouquets, and much more. Your child's complete faith in your ability to make everything that's wrong right may give you anxiety over being a superhero, but aren't you? So don't worry about strange looks. What you are doing is a positive example for others on how to be a parent. Carry on being a shining example.

She said thanks.

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Originally published in The Times Dispatch on May 21, 2014.