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Vivian
Posted on 2024-07-09
Being a parent is a tough job
By Vivian Heyl
For over 40 years I have raised children, some were mine and some were the children of other people. Parenting is a tough job. Those who think it isn't aren't doing it right.
Recently I told a young mother who is a first-time parent that babies are like sponges, they absorb everything, even those things they are too young to understand.
She talks to her baby in a way that many parents have never tried. She has conversations with him. She explains what things are and what she is going to do with those things. Though her son doesn't comprehend all that she says, he knows she is talking to him and showing or giving him things to examine as she talks.
Recently she was shopping in a grocery store with her baby and as she shopped she told him about the objects she was adding to the shopping cart. She picked up an onion and allowed him to hold it. She told him it was called an onion, she talked about the onion's color and what the onion would be used for.
She suddenly realized that people were giving her strange looks. She has talked to him and explained things since he was born. At first she just shrugged it off but said she is beginning to feel intimidated by the stares when she talks to her child in public.
When I told her that it was perfectly fine and even good to talk to her child in this way, she asked how she should react to the strange looks she gets when she is out in the public.
I am a person who takes parenting very seriously. I believe it is the most important job anyone could ever have. I have been known to go on a rant when the subject comes up. In fact some might even say I get on a soapbox about it now and then.
The following was my response to her.
Maybe it was the first time they had ever seen a parent who actually parents. Parenting is not easy. It's the most important job in your life. There are no job descriptions, no paid vacations, the hours are long, and there is no retirement. The pay, however, is outstanding and it has job benefits beyond your wildest dreams. There are smiles, hugs, sticky kisses, endless questions, hastily plucked bouquets, and much more. Your child's complete faith in your ability to make everything that's wrong right may give you anxiety over being a superhero, but aren't you? So don't worry about strange looks. What you are doing is a positive example for others on how to be a parent. Carry on being a shining example.
She said thanks.
---
Originally published in The Times Dispatch on May 21, 2014.
by Vivian Heyl 1950-2024
Vivian Running Sound At Blues Fest
Vivian was editor at Delta Boogie since we started the site in 1996. She wrote almost all of our Delta Musicians section, the most popular area on Delta Boogie. She also wrote anything else on Delta Boogie that doesn't have a byline.
She also worked for the Times Dispatch in Walnut Ridge, Arkansas, where she contributed many features and some reporting. Her work at the Times Dispatch regularly won awards from the Arkansas Press Association.
Writing was her passion. She wrote for her whole life. Much of it we still have in computer files. I am posting her work here as I find it.
by Larry Heyl
Links
Delta Boogie
Gamer+
Related To Geeks
Gretchen says:
Today we celebrate Vivian Heyl. Mom, Grandma, Viv. Whatever name you knew her by, I'm sure at some point in time she used her gift of nurturing on you. She was indeed a nurturer - of the mind, body and spirit. Her words of encouragement could only be outdone by her quick wit and, when needed, sharp tongue. She loved unconditionally, but she had no problem calling you on your crap. She welcomed ALL to her family - and about the only thing that would get you unwelcome was making someone else feel that way. Today we celebrate the life she lived, the example she set and the love she shared.
Many have asked what they can do for the family or in memory of Mom - I offer these suggestions:
Play a game with your family. There is nothing that would be a better gift than to share joy with your family and in memory of Mom.
Read a book (it can have pictures). Mom loved to go on adventures in books and she led us kids down the same path.
Encourage a kid (preferably one who no else even seems to notice). I promise that is the one Mom would spot first and immediately bring into the fold.
We would also love to hear your stories about Mom. We would love anyone who would like to share stories or memories to do so in the comment thread. Maybe you have a story where you realized, possibly even years later, that you had been molded by a momma's love in the form of Vivian Heyl.
If you would like to make a memorial gift, please consider the children and youth fund at Brookland UMC or the friends of the Craighead County Jonesboro Public Library, the Lawrence County Library or your local library.
Lastly, just keep loving us! We are sad, but we are blessed.
Add your words to the comments thread:
Words and Comments
Delta Boogie Newsletter/Gamer+ News - May 2024 - This One's For Vivian
https://gamerplus.org/@hairylarry/pages/1714661546292
My wife Vivian was the editor of Delta Boogie and a regular contributor to Gamer+. She helped me with everything I did including Blues Fest for 25 years, The Bandshell Project, Jonesboro Computer Services, The Jonesboro User Group, and so much more. I don't know what I'll do without her.
On April 18, 2024, Vivian passed on.
She was a writer all her life and I am collecting her writings here.
https://deltaboogie.net/words
She worked at The Times Dispatch in Walnut Ridge, Arkansas, for years. Her features regularly won Awards from the Arkansas Press Association.
She wrote almost all of Delta Musicians, the most popular section on Delta Boogie, where she provided Delta Bluesmen with a place on the internet back in the nineties. She also wrote all of the articles on Delta Boogie that do not have a byline.
She played and ran fantasy RPGs with dice and miniatures at ASU Beebe in the early seventies before D&D was published.
We home schooled our children and she saw their love of D&D as an educational opportunity for reading, writing, history, the arts, and, of course, math.
She loved music and games and she raised a family of musicians and gamers.
We have five children and seven grandchildren. I had two boys before we married and she loved them like her own.
She saved my life and she gave me a good life. I love her still and always.
For her, I thank you all, for your continued support of Delta Boogie, Gamer+, Delta music, NEA gaming and whatever else it is that you do to make the world a little bit better.
Please take a minute and say a prayer.
Thanks,
Hairy Larry
https://gamerplus.org/@hairylarry
hairylarry@deltaboogie.com
Comment thread here.